Vol. I · No. 15 · Monday, September 21, 2026

Desk login

CHIRP

A remote MCP server for market research, mining, scraping & cohorts

Access: by invitationSign-in: GoogleSix connectors on the wireCohorts filed to the cloud
Reddit — posts + full comment trees · Hacker News — stories + threads · YouTube Comments — comments + replies · Web Page — page → markdown · G2 Reviews — reviews · Trustpilot — reviews · Reddit — posts + full comment trees · Hacker News — stories + threads · YouTube Comments — comments + replies · Web Page — page → markdown · G2 Reviews — reviews · Trustpilot — reviews ·

Lead story · Retrieval

Everyone Is Reading The Forums. Almost Nobody Is Reading Them Properly.

CHIRP crawls the threads you nominate, keeps the comment trees intact, and hands back cohorts instead of a pile of exports nobody opens twice.

The research industry has spent a decade insisting that listening is solved. It is not. The tooling scrapes a headline, drops the replies, and presents a sentiment score with the confidence of a weather forecaster who has never looked outside. CHIRP takes the unglamorous position that the argument underneath the post is the actual product.

You nominate a source — a subreddit, a Hacker News query, a YouTube comment section, a review feed — and a window: thirty days, ninety, a hundred and eighty, a full year. The crawler walks the listing, expands every comment tree to its last sulking reply, de-duplicates, chunks, embeds, and files the result where a semantic query can reach it.

What comes back is not a spreadsheet of keywords. It is a cohort: a named, defensible group of people who said a related thing for a related reason, with the passages attached so an analyst can be contradicted in public and survive it.

Runs happen in the cloud, because a cohort nobody else can open is a cohort nobody else believes. Your agent retrieves what it needs over MCP and may keep its own copies; the shared index stays authoritative.

Every tool call reports its own bill. Crawl docs, vector rows, search calls, export volume, and how many runs you may have in flight before the queue politely declines. The meter is not hidden in a settings page. It is on the front page, where meters belong.

And when a cohort grows past the point of decency, the server stops trying to hand you a hundred megabytes through a chat window. It hands you a signed link and gets on with its day.

Dispatch · Ingest

The Comment Tree Is The Story. The Post Is The Headline.

A source in CHIRP is a contract, not a URL. Connector, target, window, and whether replies come along. Change any clause and the next run re-files the index under the same contract.

Six connectors are on the wire today: Reddit with full comment trees, Hacker News stories and threads, YouTube comments with replies, open web pages, and G2 and Trustpilot reviews. They share one schema, which is the only reason anything downstream works.

Runs stream a real log. Enumeration counts, comment expansions, quota warnings, and the exact moment the embedder stopped sulking. Nobody has to guess whether the bar is lying.

Dispatch · Governance

Three Roles, One Ledger, No Heroic Exceptions.

Owners hold the seats. Analysts may define sources, launch cloud runs, and export cohorts. Viewers may read and search, and that is the whole of their mandate — the interface does not tease them with buttons they cannot press.

Every tool invocation — console or MCP — lands in the telemetry ledger with actor, duration, and outcome. When procurement asks who exported what in March, the answer is a query, not an archaeology project.

cohort_retrieve → 14,204 members → exceeds inline limit → returns signed download link, ttl 24h

A sentiment score is an opinion about an opinion. A cohort is a list of people you can go and ask.

The Wire · Tool manifest

What The Server Actually Exposes

getting_started

The 60-second guide — start here

source_upsert

Create or amend a crawl contract

source_list

Enumerate sources with index health

source_delete

Strike a source and purge its vectors

crawl_start

Queue a cloud crawl; async and pollable

run_status

Job status with the live log tail

run_cancel

Cancel a queued or running job

semantic_search

Query sources or a named cohort, paginated

cohort_build

Cut a cohort from a definition (async)

cohort_list

Enumerate cohorts with themes

cohort_retrieve

Small cohorts inline, paged

cohort_download

Bulk cohorts by signed link, ttl 24h

cohort_delete

Retire a cohort

usage_report

Quotas, usage, provider balances

Circulation desk

Request A Desk

Access is by invitation. File your full name and the Google account you sign in with; an owner reviews every request. No self-serve, no trial, no exceptions worth printing.

Colophon

Set in Playfair Display and Libre Baskerville. Rules hand-measured. Printed nightly by the crawl floor, which never sleeps and resents being asked about it.

Masthead

Editor: the retrieval pipeline. Sub-editor: the de-duplicator. Corrections desk: the telemetry ledger.

Notice

Served from chirp.5pm.ai. MCP endpoint at /mcp — connect your agent with OAuth and bring a query worth asking.

CHIRP · Remote MCP Server · End of edition